NBTN : How to keep a guy for 10 years

Do we all remember Kate Hudsons movie How to lose a guy in 10 days? Well this is how to keep a guy for 10 years, and hopefully for many more ...

After 10 years of being with my Husband I thought Id share some funny, quirky or hard lessons that I've learnt. We only celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary this year, but it was today May 18th when he asked me to be his girlfriend outside Avondale College after the 2002 Talent Quest.


1. The first 7 secs ...
Studies have shown that you can size up a person (male/female) in the first 7 secs. Its instinctive, its human nature. You need to protect yourself and trust your gut. This can be said for scouting prospective husbands too hahaha sorry boys, but dont worry you do the same to us ladies too. so, we are even :) Make sure you are attracted to eachother, that there is a chemistry, a spark, that no matter what you will always see through your eyes only and forever. To me, Alfred has a cheeky smile and a certain twinkle in his eye that is just breath taking to me. But that might be a bit TMI for you guys. When he is an old wrinkly grey haired grandfather, Ill still see him for the young, long haired, spunky, muscle flexing, league stepping man I met in 2002.


2. Know the Boundaries
In every relationship both sides are forever testing their limits and boundaries. This applies in all areas. We test it in the bedroom, we test it in the bank account. The boundaries are tested pretty heavily when it comes to the topic of parenting. Im a supernanny time out in the corner according to your age kinda mum. Where as my husband was raised in a house of 8 boys with a certain samoan discipline kinda flavor if you know what I mean. So often we are 'discussing' how to discipline our very boisterous 3 year old. No matter what, respect eachother first. If he/she is being a bit silly then let just let them think it over, if your being a bit selfish then just let it go. Bobs your uncle.

3. Dont bring up the past
Its pretty simple, and yet its so hard to do when you are in an argument. You cant move into the future if you keep going back to the cemetery to dig up the past. It maybe a little pet cemetery or as my husband would say it could be the whole Waikumete cemetery. Never the less, Its happened and it cant be changed so just like Dory on finding nemo "just keep swimming".

4. Look after yourself
Being physically and mentally healthy also means you can be physically and mentally apart of your relationship. If you cant look after yourself, then why should someone else? if you cant love yourself for you, how can someone else? You are no good to yourself, your partner or your kids if you are not taking care of yourself. So be loving and kind to him and to your family, but most importantly yourself.

5. Nip it in the butt
When something becomes a problem I nip it in the butt! If you leave it alone it doesnt just go away (most of the time). It may grow into a little bit of disconnection at first, next thing you know you dont know how to have a proper conversation, then your sleeping in seperate rooms?? In my case, which doesnt really go well with my husband, I just voice it. Once I've said it out in the open, it just feels better to have got it off my chest, then he identifies with it, and we are back on the yellow brick road again.

6. Learn to Laugh
Sitting down at the end of the day and sharing a laugh or two can keep the bonds of love alive. You may not know who the office lady that Im talking about is? I may not know what the south african lady who was hitting on you today looks like? But its all just for shits and giggles and speaks volumes that you can sit down for 5 minutes, we can sieve through our day and just have a laugh.


7. Be Proud
People dont praise their partners enough. Its very easy to backstab or just joke about silly things that they do when we are having a coffee or wine with the ladies. It would be nice to even out the scales and share how lovely, kind, sexy, funny or caring he is too. If you say too many negative things about him your coffee group might actually be thinking why are you with such a loser if hes is so crap at everything??


8. Keep the love tank full
Your relationship needs petrol aswell to go the distance too. Find out how your partner likes to show love and recieve love. Alfred is always doing thoughtful little things for me. He often brings things home for me, or little presents because it reminded him of me. Our love tanks are always pretty full so when its time to celebrate big milestones we just go with the flow. Its not a big build up, and its not a competition to prove our love in a monetary sense. Being here today, making it to the top of the mountain together and sharing the journey was the best part. The fruit, or in this case our kids is like the clouds parting to reveal a crystal clear view of all the beauty and hardwork. We've battled some blizzards, but we are here together, ready for another 10 years and more!!!
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

9. Be crazy in love
With all the crappy things that are on TV these days I really love programmes like Ice loves Coco. They really do know eachother, love eachother and support eachother no matter what. They are best friends, lovers and hopefully soon to be parents. I'll have to catch up on the finale hopefully sometime this weekend. Try to mix it up, spice it up, be spontaneous, have fun and live it a little. Scream on the rollercoaster, skinny dip, ride a motorbike or learn something new together. Ive set a goal for Alfred and I to take surfing lessons this summer. Be a bit crazy every now and then. Remember to let your guard down and show your fun side.


10. Most Importantly - L.O.V.E
There are all kinds of types of love. The way you love your kids is definately different to the way you love your parents, grandparents, siblings and bff's. Over time you learn to love him in so many ways. Initially you feel the fireworks, at times he'll be the shoulder to cry on when someone special passes away. Of course there is the lust and passion and there is also the best friend companion type love. No matter what kind of love you may feel from time to time, make sure you always love him, unconditionally.

If you have any other helpful relationship tips too please feel free to share them with us. Till next time ...

xxx Haus of Hiria

NBTN : Mothers Day 2012

Happy Mothers Day to all you lovely ladies out there, I thought Id show my mum how much she means to me by dedicating my blog to her today.

Mum and I share the same month of June for our birthdays. We are both Cancerian Crabs. Our birthdays are only seperated by 4 days ... and thirty years. So our birth dates look like this. 22/06/84 and 26/06/54. Pretty cool I think.

Dont ask me why but people always feel that commenting about my appearance to my face isn't rude at all. Complete strangers always having the need or urge to stop what they are doing and blurt out whatever it is that has jumped into their brain the second they see me. Like I said dont ask me why?? Just the other day someone at work pulled my hair, just because they've never heard of hair extensions before. I didnt know whether to laugh, be angry, or just plain old confused. Anywho, Most of the time the comments are positive, sometimes negative, other times just plain WTH. The most common of compliments is directed at my cheekbones, which i confidently reply "I aint got nothing on my Moms, wait till you see her!" Just think of Cher and thats the kinda neighbourhood her and her cheekbones roll in.

Everyone already knows how madly in love my siblings and I feel about our parents, but just when you think you can comprehend the love we have for them times it by infinity, take it to the end of the universe and back and then we're getting somewhere.

By hook or by crook my parents have always provided for us. All 8 of us. The thought of having 8 children scares me initially, but if NZ wasnt in such an economic downward spiral I would love to give it a go ... on the condition that i could give them back if I didnt like all 8 of them. Sucker! You guys were like OMG how could she say that lol

Obviously between the 8 of us we all dont get along all the time. But Mum and Dad are always there building bridges and mediating to remind us how special we all are individually and as a family.

Here's a couple of things you may or may not know about my wonderful mother;

• She loves Wine Gums ... especially the yellow ones
• She is the proud grandmother of 5 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 2+ 1 mokopuna.
• She is still madly in love with my Father
• She has already won with Lotto before, but she is going to win the Jackpot!
• She has survived and overcome Breast Cancer
• She is a member of the PutiPuti KaniKani line dancing group
• She loves to exercise
• She was apart of the Maori Volcanics the same time as Billy T James was starting his career too ... Which means she is the awesomest singer ever!! Sliding Doors Gwyneth Paltrow moment much - My siblings and I may not have been here if she had continued down that path.
• She loves to travel
• She is beutiful inside and out

I know you know this Mum, we tell you all the time, but I love you so much and thank you for being my mum, our mum. You are truly one of kind, you adapt to each and everyone of our personalities when we need it, but you treat us all the same on pay day lol

NBTN : Seasons Greetings

Hey everyone! Wow its good to see you all again. I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Years. I know Im fully charged and ready to kick some 2012 butt! It seems as though there are alot of us ready to kick old habits, shed our skin and start to live up to the potential that maybe we have been afraid of all our lives. 2011 was an awesome year for me. Man did I learn a lesson or 2 or 3 or 4 ... million. Some hard lessons, but if you don't make any mistakes and take risks then you'll never know the true taste of everything that life has to cook up for you. I may have been eating burnt toast before but its all gravy baby. Now, my life is so tasty and flavourful.

My 1 year wedding anniversary is this weekend. Can you believe it?! That went so fast. But, they do say time flies when your having fun. Although it maybe our 10 year 'since we got together' anniversary this May .... bar the on and again, off agains lol, Im still so happy and sooo in love. To be honest I didn't think that married life would be this different. We were already living what I thought was the married life existence .... but it is totally different, in an awesome way. What also did happen in 2011 was alot of friends have either started their own little families, got engaged or got married. Love is in the air is all I can say. Its great!

Career wise I must say I achieved all the goals that I planned for myself at the beginning of 2011 ... but this is thanks to all of you guys and your continued support and following. When I would have my little hesitations or doubts a little message would appear and just turn my frown upside down. Thank you so much for that ... and keep it coming. Those little messages really do mean so much to me, thank you from the bottom of my heart XX

My sisters, my sisters. What would I be, or what would I do without them. I have to thank my sisters for really making me the strong woman that I am today. The world never challenges me as much as you do. Just when I think "No way Jose" you guys push me to break down another Ogre onion layer that I didnt even know that I had. The blow ups and confrontations, the defriending, the sibling rivalry and mind games that you both do has given me the tough skin that I need to be in this industry. I always knew the world would be hurtful, but I never thought that my family could do things, or say things like that to my face. Thank you for really testing me and pulling out the strong woman that was deep inside of me. Now I can take on the world and not bat an eyelid over petty comments. I have the skin of an elephant, and the memory of a crocodile .... or is it the other way around? To my other sisters, I love how you are all the most beautiful gay dorks I have ever met. You keep me so grounded, only cos Im shorter than all of yous lol You all know when it counts. Quality not quantity. You know how much I love you gay guys ... so no homo okay X

To my gorgeous and amazing daughters, I am so privileged and blessed to be your Mother. Thank you for choosing me. Alfred, can you build me the tallest tower so I can lock these girls away please. Dangerous much!

Here are a couple of goals I am willing to share with you guys .... just please dont hold me to it OK!
1. Drink a glass of wine each week ... hehehe
2. Travel overseas at least once this year!
3. Push Play! Get Active .... which includes a new pair of kicks. Score!
4. Get the ball rolling with my "Lady Ladalah" lingerie designs
5. Keep building my makeup kit til its as big as 1 of the Kardashian sisters
6. "Maintain the status quo" - Ross Williams

So to all, thanks for tuning in this year .... feedback is crucial. If you want to know, see or read about anything just let me know. My direction is your direction. The red pill or the blue pill??

- Haus of Hiria

NBTN - The Maori Maiden and the Samoan Stallion

So there is a funny story of how my husband and I met. If you were lucky enough to be at our beautiful sunny and intimate wedding at the beginning of this year you would have heard the story first hand from our Best Man Robert. But if you weren't I'd like to share this Shakespearean love story with you today.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful young maori maiden named Hiria and a Samoan Stallion called Alfred. Robert and I met when we went to Avondale College together. We were really good friends and are still bestest friends to this day. Rob, Alfred and everybody else in the whole wide world went to Nafanua PIC in Avondale. Rob used to go to church and frequently talk about how he really liked this girl Hiria alot. Alfred had quite the reputation with the ladies and confidently said to him that when he meets this girl Hiria whoever she is she will be my wife for life. Everyone laughed it off like yeah, ok, whatever.


One night, when all the stars were in alignment, we met in a romantic .... Garage on Taramea St. Alf hid under his beanie, and kept to himself while everyone else conversed. Throwing in his own flavor of sarcastic comments into the mix every now and then. He looked up and she caught the glimmer in his eye. The topic of virginity came into play and they both claimed that they both were. They exchanged looks of yeah right. A brief disagreement of yeah whatever you dont look like one, yeah well neither do you, well I am, no your not banter was being exchanged. She quietly asked her friend who he was? Her friend then passed on the very misinterpreted and blunt message of my friend wants to hook up with you. Thankfully if she hadnt I would be down a different life path today.

We all went for a joyride to the infamous Te Atatu beach where everyone mysteriously exited the car except for X and Y. Akward much. Here they both tried to outlast, outwit and outplay eachother. They were both used to being the chased not the chaser. Things got a bit hot and heavy and came to an abrupt stop when the policeman shone the flashlight in to reveal two young teenagers, with which a female was wearing an inticate silver push up bra and camel bootleg corduroy jeans. Everyone quickly got back into the white Legnum and Robert dropped everyone home.

Monday came and the rumor mill was working overtime during asssembly. Psst, Heds, OMG did you hook it up with Alfie in the weekend? then someone from the other direction can hear whats being said so they listen in and spread the details. Interval was even weirder. Hey Heds, heard you macked it with Alfred? Your the Man! Im thinking it cant be the same guy cos Alfred is quite a common name. Now the stories have turned into "yeah, Alfred from St Pauls". So I try and find Robert to ask him how does everyone know him. All He says is "Heds, if he does anything to you Ill smash him ok!" Now Im getting worried. But then he changes the subject and says oh Alfred says Hi and wants to know if you want him to come to Talent Quest tommorow night. Im like yeah sure why not. The plot thickens ...

Tuesday night, Talent Quest. The St Pauls boys have their eagle eyes on. Questions are coming double time. Bro, where is she? which one did you get with? The lights come up, the show is about to begin and I walk out on stage to welcome everyone to the 2002 Talent Quest. He points to the stage and says umm, over there, the MC. Shut up bro your an eat arse! Is that the one that plays in the premier basketball team? The one with the nice legs and the mean tan? hahaha thanks guys. Everything could have had a sliding doors Gwyneth Paltrow effect. That night there was another girl there that he had invited to meet him, but he did the chicano u turn when he saw her and came and met me instead.

He walked Charity and I to the car. Cha jumped in the car while the magic happened. Alfred starts stammering and choking up and I giggle knowing what's ahead. So I play the innocent naive little girl while he tries to lead into asking me out. But no, he's trying to hint for me to ask him out. In frustration, He says to me stop acting dumb you know what Im trying to do. I said yes I know, you're trying to get me to ask you out, but thats not going to happen, you have to ask me out. He confidently says, but I dont ask girls out. I reply well Im not any girl and if you want me to be your girlfriend you'll have to ask me out :D and the rest as they say is history. I give him a little kiss goodnight, jump in the car to tell Cha that he was my new boyfriend . . . . . and dont tell Mum and Dad please.

The Maori Maiden marries the Samoan Stallion