NBTN - The Maori Maiden and the Samoan Stallion

So there is a funny story of how my husband and I met. If you were lucky enough to be at our beautiful sunny and intimate wedding at the beginning of this year you would have heard the story first hand from our Best Man Robert. But if you weren't I'd like to share this Shakespearean love story with you today.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful young maori maiden named Hiria and a Samoan Stallion called Alfred. Robert and I met when we went to Avondale College together. We were really good friends and are still bestest friends to this day. Rob, Alfred and everybody else in the whole wide world went to Nafanua PIC in Avondale. Rob used to go to church and frequently talk about how he really liked this girl Hiria alot. Alfred had quite the reputation with the ladies and confidently said to him that when he meets this girl Hiria whoever she is she will be my wife for life. Everyone laughed it off like yeah, ok, whatever.


One night, when all the stars were in alignment, we met in a romantic .... Garage on Taramea St. Alf hid under his beanie, and kept to himself while everyone else conversed. Throwing in his own flavor of sarcastic comments into the mix every now and then. He looked up and she caught the glimmer in his eye. The topic of virginity came into play and they both claimed that they both were. They exchanged looks of yeah right. A brief disagreement of yeah whatever you dont look like one, yeah well neither do you, well I am, no your not banter was being exchanged. She quietly asked her friend who he was? Her friend then passed on the very misinterpreted and blunt message of my friend wants to hook up with you. Thankfully if she hadnt I would be down a different life path today.

We all went for a joyride to the infamous Te Atatu beach where everyone mysteriously exited the car except for X and Y. Akward much. Here they both tried to outlast, outwit and outplay eachother. They were both used to being the chased not the chaser. Things got a bit hot and heavy and came to an abrupt stop when the policeman shone the flashlight in to reveal two young teenagers, with which a female was wearing an inticate silver push up bra and camel bootleg corduroy jeans. Everyone quickly got back into the white Legnum and Robert dropped everyone home.

Monday came and the rumor mill was working overtime during asssembly. Psst, Heds, OMG did you hook it up with Alfie in the weekend? then someone from the other direction can hear whats being said so they listen in and spread the details. Interval was even weirder. Hey Heds, heard you macked it with Alfred? Your the Man! Im thinking it cant be the same guy cos Alfred is quite a common name. Now the stories have turned into "yeah, Alfred from St Pauls". So I try and find Robert to ask him how does everyone know him. All He says is "Heds, if he does anything to you Ill smash him ok!" Now Im getting worried. But then he changes the subject and says oh Alfred says Hi and wants to know if you want him to come to Talent Quest tommorow night. Im like yeah sure why not. The plot thickens ...

Tuesday night, Talent Quest. The St Pauls boys have their eagle eyes on. Questions are coming double time. Bro, where is she? which one did you get with? The lights come up, the show is about to begin and I walk out on stage to welcome everyone to the 2002 Talent Quest. He points to the stage and says umm, over there, the MC. Shut up bro your an eat arse! Is that the one that plays in the premier basketball team? The one with the nice legs and the mean tan? hahaha thanks guys. Everything could have had a sliding doors Gwyneth Paltrow effect. That night there was another girl there that he had invited to meet him, but he did the chicano u turn when he saw her and came and met me instead.

He walked Charity and I to the car. Cha jumped in the car while the magic happened. Alfred starts stammering and choking up and I giggle knowing what's ahead. So I play the innocent naive little girl while he tries to lead into asking me out. But no, he's trying to hint for me to ask him out. In frustration, He says to me stop acting dumb you know what Im trying to do. I said yes I know, you're trying to get me to ask you out, but thats not going to happen, you have to ask me out. He confidently says, but I dont ask girls out. I reply well Im not any girl and if you want me to be your girlfriend you'll have to ask me out :D and the rest as they say is history. I give him a little kiss goodnight, jump in the car to tell Cha that he was my new boyfriend . . . . . and dont tell Mum and Dad please.

The Maori Maiden marries the Samoan Stallion